... so the story left off with The Stapler giving Wahbert tonsillitis. Wahbert now requires surgery and is feeling all the shittier for it. Anyhoo The Stapler kicked Wahbert in the guts last night by declaring that it is in fact a piece of stationery incapable of affection warmth or companionship. Wahbert secretly plans to torch the supply cabinet.
And so The Stapler went on its spiel about how perfect its life is as a stapler and how things were getting complicated. (No shit. You're a stapler!) Basically all Wahbert heard was "Clack Clack Clack... I'm a schmuck. Clack Clack Clack ... I'm a real schmuck. Clack Clack Clack Clack... Clack Clack Clack "
When a guy says "what do you think?" "are you ok with this?" in a break-up scenario, don't stroke his ego with a tearful "Whyyyyyyyyyy" or "Can't we give it another try". Break-ups are not a democratic process. It is legal to unilaterally terminate a relationship. Unless you are married, then it's just more hassle. Be classy, be vicious if need be. For Wahbert, the latter comes naturally...
S : "Hey your security guards let me in without asking any questions!"
W: "Don't worry, they now have instructions to shoot on sight."
S : "I've never seen your car!" (What kind of preposterous remark is that given the circumstances?!)
W: "Wait right here. I'll go get the keys and you can have a view of my car coming at you at high speed."
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