Rainbow (bad) connection

Why are there so many course about ethics
And why we must be on time
Deadlines are visions but only illusions
And tardiness ain’t a crime

So bosses give work and we have to finish it
I know they’re wrong wait and see
Someday we’ll find the insider information
The exchange the brokers and me

Who said that governance is practised and observed
When companies are aware of it
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it
Look what it’s done to profit

What’s so amazing that keeps us all working
In spite of our small salary
Someday we’ll find the insider information
The exchange the brokers and me

All of us under its spell we know that it’s probably magic

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices
I hear them yelling my name
Is it the bosses that calls to young LA’s
When it’s time to take the blame

I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it
It’s something that I’m supposed to do
Someday we’ll find the insider information
Then I’ll be out of here soon!

Valentines is for chipmunks

Conventionally, a guy might give a girl flowers or a box of chocolates as a token of affection. In the World of Wahbert, where office supplies are more coveted than long stemmed roses, a guy expresses his feelings by giving you work.

"Hi! I really like you. Here, have a file! You can put it in your name!"
"A file? For me?? How thoughtful!"

Bah.
Wahbert says, A file by any other name is just as thick.

Trespass

Trespass is not a crime in the World of Wahbert. Neither is invasion of privacy. It is called public dissemination of personal information by the water cooler.

Last week, a colleague, who will be identified as Moron #1, came into Wahbert's enclosure and while Wahbert was distracted by a secretary hiding a fart, opened and read Wahbert's emails. Another colleague, Moron #2, picked the perfect time to waltz in, just as Moron #1 had identified the most incriminating email in Wahbert's archives. The following scene unfolded:

Moron #1: "Hey check this out, this is really funny!"
Wahbert : "Argh!" (proceeds to tear out Moron #1's limb)
Moron #2: "I'm going to send a memo out to everyone. Hee hee!"
Wahbert : "Don't you dare tell anyone what you read! You owe me a duty of care!"
Moron #1 : "Yeah well tell that to a lawyer!"
Wahbert : "I AM!!!"

It has been 4 days - 3 floors since. Last night, Moron #1 also felt the need to inform one of the gorillas, nicknamed The Loudspeaker. Not long now... the building only has 19 floors.