Battle of the Corporate Floor

A long long time ago Wahbert had a kingdom in an online game - Utopia. In memory of a general that died in one of the many battles fought in Utopia, Wahbert wrote a poem "Evermore". Ten years later and shackled in the drab space of WoW, Wahbert finds herself faced with another desperate situation.

Battle of the Corporate Floor

This is a story of an old old war,
About the soldiers of the Corporate Floor;
It goes on today like it did before,
Like history caught in a revolving door.

The soldiers have traded in their armour plate,
To fight in pinstriped suits on an hourly rate;
But fight we did and long do we wait,
For the final outcome - our partnership fate.

It was the year two thousand and six
The soldiers crumbled like rotten sticks;
Some deserted in search of better picks,
Others down with illnesses the docs can't fix.

So from a dozen men we are down to five,
Not that anyone can tell if we're dead or alive;
But still the generals struggle and strive
to put off a much needed recruitment drive.

The five of us we are the Corporate's best,
We are the ones who withstood the test;
With only five can you compete with the rest?
Only five? Hah! We could do with less!

Watch us clinch our clients another deal,
Help 'em wipe out competition at a steal;
Once we smack on it the company seal,
If they dispute we'll go for the appeal.

Onward march thy Corporate army!
To the bold and stalwart, eternal glory!
Seize the day and claim your victory,
Before you're overdue for heart surgery.

We will march when we hear the battle cry,
O'er mountains high and through valleys dry;
We might hide some murders, swindle and lie,
But we're the Corporate soldiers and we'll never die!

fffflippp

You know those books you have when you're young where if you flip the corner of the pages you get a little moving picture? Like the one with Pooh shagging Eeyore or OOOops.. I mean, the one with the kid on a swing? Well you know what I mean.

Today, a partner came into Wahbert's room and started flipping the corner of Wahbert's Companies Act, which had the great misfortune of being on her desk. As he was speaking (and flipping), Wahbert just stared and stared at her book with her mouth twisted in distaste until the partner desisted with the offending act.

The point of this post is....

What should Wahbert start drawing in the corner of every page...?

Manufacturing Marxists

Wahbert came to work in a pretty skirt and a pink cardigan. Imagine a walking botanical gardens and you pretty much have it. Halfway through the day, Wahbert received an urgent call for her to attend a meeting in a client's manufacturing facility.

Upon arrival at the security checkpoint, Wahbert was told by the security guard, "You must button up your top fully! They are very strict here!" and she proceeded to do it for Wahbert, then clipping a security tag right under Wahbert's throat. What was Wahbert doing through all this? Honestly, Wahbert was too stumped to do much beyond gaping at her.

Then Wahbert was led to the building, where people were milling about with blue plastic bags on their feet. Newcomers silently approached a large metal dispenser stuffed with similar plastic bags (which looked a lot like oval shaped shower caps) and mechanically donned on the blue plastic. What is the deal??? Wahbert was consumed with the feeling that she has stumbled upon a Marxist stronghold where entire proletarian populations are churned out with every batch of microchips manufactured.

AHA! So that is where the communists fled after the post-war insurgence! Wahbert will consider approaching their leader to rise against the tyranny of wealth by utterly destroying the embodiment of capitalism - Valentines Day.

By the way, let it be for the record that NOTHING goes with blue shower caps on your feet.