Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Watch what you say and to whom you say it
Today, an articled clerk told Wahbert that the Stapler is "nice". Wahbert made a mental note to criticise her work. Clearly the girl demonstrates poor judgment.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
I don't speak legalese
There's this thing called globalisation that Wahbert keeps hearing about. More than once Wahbert has heard people say "the waves of globalisation are lapping at our shores, you have to synergise, advance, progress with the time". Heck, if it's only lapping at your shores, what's the big deal? In fact, the whole idea sounds like it's perfect for a little dip in the sea on a balmy day. It's not like they said "Goddamn globalisation is hitting us like a goddamn tsunami and you better do something goddamn quick or you're goddamn gone".
Such was Wahbert's complacency that Wahbert had never bothered much with the lapping waves of globalisation. Then comes today. Wahbert had two meetings scheduled. The first was with a delegation from the Government of Mali. The second with representatives of client from Japan.
The first of the delegate to enter the room was a mighty lady over six feet tall and made Wahbert feel quite small. She was dressed in a bright yellow robe with fancy prints and crowned with a matching turban and made Wahbert feel quite drab (Wahbert was in pinstripe). Three other impressive looking gentlemen followed. The meeting progressed in French, and Wahbert was asked to translate. This Wahbert found quite difficult, as her mind was filled with images of cocoa trees and bananas ever since the lady first walked in.
As for the second meeting, suffice to say that Wahbert does not speak a word of Japanese and the meeting involved a lot of chattering and bowing on their part and a lot of blank stares from Wahbert. Possibly they expected Wahbert to bow with every stare. Wahbert told them she had a bad back. Possibly they did not understand.
Wahbert has decided that globalisation was a lot more fun as a concept, with a pina colada on the side.
Such was Wahbert's complacency that Wahbert had never bothered much with the lapping waves of globalisation. Then comes today. Wahbert had two meetings scheduled. The first was with a delegation from the Government of Mali. The second with representatives of client from Japan.
The first of the delegate to enter the room was a mighty lady over six feet tall and made Wahbert feel quite small. She was dressed in a bright yellow robe with fancy prints and crowned with a matching turban and made Wahbert feel quite drab (Wahbert was in pinstripe). Three other impressive looking gentlemen followed. The meeting progressed in French, and Wahbert was asked to translate. This Wahbert found quite difficult, as her mind was filled with images of cocoa trees and bananas ever since the lady first walked in.
As for the second meeting, suffice to say that Wahbert does not speak a word of Japanese and the meeting involved a lot of chattering and bowing on their part and a lot of blank stares from Wahbert. Possibly they expected Wahbert to bow with every stare. Wahbert told them she had a bad back. Possibly they did not understand.
Wahbert has decided that globalisation was a lot more fun as a concept, with a pina colada on the side.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Encapsulating Happiness
Wahbert went to bed happy on Sunday night.
It was a weird fuzzy feeling, like you are completely at peace with the world, and the simple act of going to sleep when you are feeling sleepy overwhelms you with a kind of joy that can only be derived from appreciation of simple things.
It was inexplicable and wonderful at the same time.
This morning, on her way to work, Wahbert remembered that she took an antihistamine half an hour before she went to bed.
It was a weird fuzzy feeling, like you are completely at peace with the world, and the simple act of going to sleep when you are feeling sleepy overwhelms you with a kind of joy that can only be derived from appreciation of simple things.
It was inexplicable and wonderful at the same time.
This morning, on her way to work, Wahbert remembered that she took an antihistamine half an hour before she went to bed.
Remember the Gorillas
Did I ever tell you what happened to the baby gorillas* ?
As expected, some died (or not, this is an assumption based on the fact that Wahbert has not seen them ever since they left), but some proved surprisingly resilient, adapting to the fluoro-greyness of the World of Wahbert. They assimilated and integrated with the People, thriving on paperwork and sustaining on black coffee.
And so we have Gorillas in the Midst.
har har.
* 30/10/04 Post
As expected, some died (or not, this is an assumption based on the fact that Wahbert has not seen them ever since they left), but some proved surprisingly resilient, adapting to the fluoro-greyness of the World of Wahbert. They assimilated and integrated with the People, thriving on paperwork and sustaining on black coffee.
And so we have Gorillas in the Midst.
har har.
* 30/10/04 Post
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Drink Drink Till You Die
Wahbert had a wretched weekend. As you may be aware, torture can come in various forms, like feeding prisoners lobster, three times a day, every day, for the duration of his incarceration, let's say, life.
It began on Friday, with the Powers That Be plying the People of WoW with cocktails by the Mandarin Oriental poolside. You are surrounded by friends, the setting was nice and the alcohol plenty...... with the Powers that Be watching and observing your every move. The smarter People of WoW quickly realised that the cocktails could not have been for the benefit of the People (a realisation strongly supported by past trends) and were circumspect. Unfortunately for Wahbert, she is not one of the smarter People. After about two drinks, Wahbert conveniently forgot that the Powers that Be were omnipresent.
Wahbert would spend Saturday alternating between holding her head, hugging her middle and rolling on the bed groaning all the time.
Yes, the Powers that Be can be unkind.
It began on Friday, with the Powers That Be plying the People of WoW with cocktails by the Mandarin Oriental poolside. You are surrounded by friends, the setting was nice and the alcohol plenty...... with the Powers that Be watching and observing your every move. The smarter People of WoW quickly realised that the cocktails could not have been for the benefit of the People (a realisation strongly supported by past trends) and were circumspect. Unfortunately for Wahbert, she is not one of the smarter People. After about two drinks, Wahbert conveniently forgot that the Powers that Be were omnipresent.
Wahbert would spend Saturday alternating between holding her head, hugging her middle and rolling on the bed groaning all the time.
Yes, the Powers that Be can be unkind.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
NO THANK YOU!
Wahbert is annoyed. Wahbert is annoyed with people who say "Thanks" before they say "Please". This is usually the case when they are asking you to do something. To those who do not know it, "Thanks" is not a polite way to REQUEST! It suggests to Wahbert that you are presumptious and expect whatever it is will be done. And while I'm ranting, "Could you do something for me" should be punctuated with a question mark and not a goddamn full stop!
And Random Bosses should be punctuated with bullet holes.
And Random Bosses should be punctuated with bullet holes.
Caught
Wahbert fears she may have been exposed. Lately her colleagues have been mentioning the word "stapler" a lot... like, "I'm going to steal your stapler"... or "Give me your stapler, I like bright shiny things" Crap. Wahbert had better lay low for awhile.
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