The Workroom Goblin named George

We have a "workroom" system here where bulk printing, photocopying, binding and other senseless tasks are channeled each night and magically appear in neat little bound, copied and labeled piles the next day. Turns out, "workroom" is the codename for George, a pill-popping slave goblin living in the print room.

We received this message today - there will be no further printing until George gets his happy pills!

From: Workroom
Sent: Tuesday, 7 December 2010 11:12 AM
To: Partners & Staff
Subject: George

Morning

Unfortunately we have run out of strong capsules. Due to high demand for George I am still trying to keep with the demand for capsules. This is an new issue which we are trying to eliminate. Strong capsules have been ordered and should arrive shortly. Sorry for any inconvenience and as time goes on we shall endeavour to ensure this does not occur again.

Regards Workroom

How much is that doggy in the window?

Sorry, our auditor is not for sale.


In what was apparently the best description of an auditor's role in the 19th century, in Re Kingston Cotton Mill (No 2) [1896] 2 Ch 279, the judge said,

"He is a watch-dog, but not a bloodhound."

I don't insult auditors, judges do.

Got my grrrrrowl back

Remember the Enid Blyton story about the bear who lost its growl? Sad little bugger. Well, Wahbert thinks her sense of humour pretty much went the same way during her time at Constipation Lawyers, Sh*thole VIC.

Well, having escaped, Wahbert thinks she's now got her growl back.

Today, whilst reviewing a board paper for an executive incentive plan, Wahbert came across the following:

• The Board has the discretion to decide that the Award will not be forfeited if the employee is a God Leaver (yes, we mean an apostate, as opposed to the opposite of a Bad Leaver). Next on the agenda, the God Leaver Policy...
• Shareholders' approval will be sought at the upcoming general meeting for the grant of rights to execute directors. [To all the Executive Directors out there: Didn't we tell you it was important to keep shareholders happy?]

Corporate Governance - the new religious extremist buzzword.

How To Train Your Dragon Widget

Hi, World!

I'm not dead. I'm just stuck in a hideously boring job working for a troll.

Gotta go, troll patrol on high alert.

HELP.